keep smiling

here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary, details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
down."

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

On Sunbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts."

EVER WONDER...
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

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